Today is Curtis’s birthday. We celebrated with dinner out. (We actually celebrated twice, but this story pertains to the first time.) Sriwijaya Restaurant is an elegant—translation haute cuisine and high priced—dining experience. When I made the dinner reservation, I also arranged for a birthday cake to be presented after dinner.

“Will you put his name on the cake?” I asked.

“Yes, Madame, so it will say Happy Birthday Mr. Bennett.”

“Instead of Bennett, please put his first name? Curtis?”

“Let me spell that Madame.” The concierge began with K for Kurtis, and I left it alone. (Ok, Curtis doesn’t spell his name with a K, but in Indonesia, the letter C is pronounced “Ch” so Curtis ends up being Churtis or Kurtis when it is pronounced correctly.) Besides the Kurtis spelling amuses me. So we moved on to the next letter, U.

U is U, pronounced Uoo so that was easy, but that was as far as we got. A complicated back and forth ensued, with me saying letters, the concierge misunderstanding them, transposing them, or adding extras when I repeated bits.

Frustrated, I tried the International Lettering System (ILS)—using a common word for each letter. Unfortunately, I don’t know the ILS beyond A-Alpha, B for Beta. However, recalling my previous experience with an ILS, I tried that city/country lettering system. I decided against going back to C is for Cuba, U is for Uruguay and pushed on: K-UOO-R for Rome?

“Apa Madame? Rome??? Mr. Rome?”

Success was finally achieved when we created our own lettering system, a blend of the traditional International Lettering System and our shared vocabulary.

“K like in my name, Kelly…Uoo…R like in Romeo…T-Tango…I, like Islam…S, like Sambal.

He laughed. “I like Islam, S like Sambal?” He repeated. “Betul? Correct Madame?”

“Betul, correct.” I assured him.

“May I repeat, Madame…Happy Birthday Mr. Kurtis Bennett.”

“Yes, that’s nice, tapi, but, can you only put his first name?”

“Oh, so how?”

“His first name only…Kurtis sendiri.”

“Oh yes, not Bennett.”

“Betul, correct.”

“So, can I repeat for you madam, Indonesian style.”

“Yes, please.”

“Happy Birthday Mr. Kurtis…Kay-UOO-Romeo-Tengo-Islam-Sambal.”

Yes! Success!

As planned, after dinner a cake was presented to the table. A luscious chocolate glazed confection. Across the top was a white chocolate banner upon which, in chocolate letters, was written: Happy Birthday!

No name. Better safe than sorry, I suppose.