Totally Cool
Cool to be Busy or Hip to be Boring?
Yesterday morning, on hold with a ticketing agent, while reading email and checking Instagram, this article entitled, Cool to be Busy, popped up. I didn’t have time to read more than the headline just then—the operator clicked on—had too much going on to get back to it, later, so I never learned where the article went. But, maybe I didn’t need to know . . .
California Dreaming:
As a teen in Southern California, in The Beach Boys 70s, in Huntington Beach, when “sunscreen” meant sitting on the shady side of Lifeguard Stand #5, it was cool to be busy. (Having nothing to do, nowhere to go, was just sad, dude.) We were totally cool, and kept ourselves totally busy—working on our tans.
Being tan was cool & tanning was a job. Job performance was judged by our tan lines. Fading was not an option! “Tanning” was a top item on our To-Do lists. An overachiever even then, I put in my hours and then some “working” on my tan. Which, even I’ll admit, was a pretty mindless task. As long as I minded the sun’s position, turned & basted accordingly, I was free to mentally pass the time doing whatever I liked: reading, dozing, people watching, daydreaming.
Grandboys at the Lake
I was trying to find a snap of my kids back when but the photos have all gone yellow—yes it was that long ago…
Lazy, crazy, hazy daze of Momming:
Later, as a mother in the 80s and 90s, in “Bring on those babies” Tulsa, Oklahoma, “Momming”—Play Dates, Swim Lessons, T-Ball, Soccer, Dance—replaced “Tanning” on my to-do list. While the name had changed, commitment-wise “Mom events” were much the same as Tanning: schedules chunks of the day during which, aside from tossing out cautions or cheers, depending, my job was to be there. And while I was there, mentally pass the time however I wanted: reading, dozing, chatting, people watching, daydreaming.
Fast Forward to Now:
If busy is cool, I am the Coolest! But, busy cool now doesn’t make me feel as chill as back then, it just makes me tired. Why?
Now, looking back on those golden unplugged days of yore, I miss having “Tanning” and “Momming” on my To-Do list! Not that I miss having to doing them. “Tanning” and “Momming” were definitely not Free Time. I wasn’t free to go or do what I wanted. (After all, my job was to minding my tan, or my children, depending.) Because the nature of the tasks, “Tanning” and “Momming” required me to be some place physically, while mentally leaving me free to do or think—or not—as I pleased, call it ME TIME.
(As I define it, ME TIME is some scheduled time in the day when I absolutely cannot Go or Do or Produce anything for any purpose other than to pass the time.)
So, if “Cool to be Busy,” is cool! It’s time I played it real cool by getting busy, getting in some ME TIME. How about you?
Scheduling Me Time:
Step 1: Take an honest look at your weekly schedule and find a slot for ME TIME. (How much time depends on you, your schedule, and your guilt threshold.)
Step 2: Don’t take NO! Find Time—15 minutes here, 10 minutes there, half-an-hour on a Sunday—Time you would, or could, or used-to reserve for _____________ (Insert your equivalent of “Tanning”).
Step 3: Imagine yourself laying on the beach, slathered in Bain de Soleil. Don’t move or you’ll muss your tan lines! Don’t touch or you’ll get sand in your device! Can’t scroll cause there’s sun glare on the screen!
Step 4: What’s left? List things you want to/enjoy/miss that you don’t allow time for now. For Example:
Reading for fun
daydreaming
baseball games
People Watch
Taking a nap
Organize photos
Stamp Collection
Write letters/cards
Build a model airplane
Work a puzzle
Watch the grass grow
Work on your non-tan (SPF 100 & hat mandatory)
